someplace serendipitous

Two years ago today, we welcomed our baby girl into this world…and now Baby V isn’t a baby anymore!  She’s a sweet and polite little toddler who loves books, dresses, shoes and accessories.  There are many delightful details that I want to remember about today.  One is the fact that the sun shone ever so brightly, breaking our stretch of gloomy weather. V had the loveliest time admiring these ballerina decorations I put up for her party, exclaiming, “Pretty ballerina! Pretty ballerina!”  She even helped me bake one of the batches of vegan orange cupcakes (which were a big hit, by the way!).  Dada cooked a delicious vegetarian dinner which included some of her favorites: chick peas, olives, tomatoes, pasta, and a tiny loaf of bread that they made together.  Our guests have since headed home and I’m ready for bed, but I didn’t want to fall asleep without this one last chance to celebrate V’s birthday.  She is the best gift we’ve ever received.

The prompt at 52 Photos Project this week is Harmony.  As I was playing with my daughter this afternoon, I decided to borrow a few of her crayons and snap a quick iPhone photo or two.  I started out with the crayons all lined up nicely.  I crave order, but I’ll be honest, I’m not very good at maintaining it around here.  It seems like there is a new mess or another pile of laundry to wash or fold every time I blink!  After I took a couple quick photos (and I do mean quick…toddler hands are fast!), my daughter decided that she didn’t like me messing with her crayons.  As it turns out, what she really wanted to do was play along with me…and make a grab for my key!  In the end, the law of entropy won once again, but at least we had some fun in the process!

Sometimes it’s a beautiful thing…

Happy Belated Valentine’s Day!  I hope you had a delightful one.  Despite the long, dark days of winter, February has been full of fun surprises around here.  We are now in our second year at the self-portrait collaborative She is Three, and earlier this month, we were featured in a post at Mortal Muses!  You can read the aticle here.  Then, on February 10th, I turned 40!  My husband orchestrated a lovely surprise get-together that I never even suspected.  Long ago, I imagined I would feel old when I turned 40, but that isn’t the case at all.  I’m just now getting to know myself.  I know that art makes me happier than academics ever did.  I know that being a mother is a beautiful gift, even during the most challenging moments.  I know that sometimes love isn’t easy, but it always wins.  You just have to open the door and let it in. When I took this photo of our front door, I couldn’t help but be reminded…

Motherhood is a vastly important theme in my life, partly because I lost my mom, and partly because of the way my own daughter’s birth has changed me.  My word of the year is CREATE, and one of the projects I’m so excited to unveil is Makings of Motherhood.  MoM is a collaborative blog where two lovely women whom I respect and admire will be joining me in sharing photographs and perspectives on motherhood.  I’m honored that Michelle GD and Barbara Paulsen have agreed to walk this path with me.  We are three women of different ages living in different states.  Our children range in age from toddler to teenager, and I’m so looking forward to sharing our honest experiences with the world.  Please join us on February 2nd when I will publish our first official post.  Michelle will be posting on the 12th of each month, and Barbara on the 22nd.  Whether you are a mommy at home with little ones, an empty-nester, or trying to conceive, we hope you’ll visit us regularly.

As much as I love words, sometimes it feels like there aren’t any to express the deepest of my emotions.  I’ve been away from this blog of mine so much in the last year.  Today I decided to come back again.  Today would have been my mom’s seventy-first birthday, but she never made it out of her fifties.  I’ve come a long way since last year at this time, so I didn’t expect the tears to be lurking just under the surface today.  While my husband and daughter made dinner, I went upstairs and got on the yoga mat.  I’ll be honest, I mostly just laid there and let myself feel the sadness that I didn’t want to feel.  But I know she would be proud of how far I’ve come and the life choices I’ve made.  If I were still a little girl, I would have cleaned my room or made her something.  So I decided to tidy up my virtual room by remaking my website today.  I’m making something else, too, but I’ll reveal that next time.

Late afternoon light makes me melt.  Something about its golden warmth takes me to a happy place; a place of dreams and youth and imagination.  I can’t help but feel nostalgic whenever I see the sun streaming through the branches of our redbud tree.  The moment I snapped this photo was like an afternoon dream, and it seemed like the perfect photo to choose for “Letting the sunshine in” at 52 Photos Project.

While on the subject of dreams, our May triptych is up at She is Three, where we used the promt “She dreamt of…” this month.  Do go check it out!  Even when life feels so tiring and messy, photo projects like these lift my spirits!

It’s been a while since I’ve posted.  Two whole months in fact.  I fell behind on all my projects, chores, and plans.  I’d ignored some health matters for too long, and the time came for me to rest and take care of myself.  That’s kind of hard to do when there’s a little one in the picture!  She’s been keeping me extra busy, walking and talking and getting into all kinds of mischief these days.  I don’t like to disconnect from the creative world or pass on wonderful opportunities, but I had to give myself permission to let go of a lot of things until I felt better.   

So here I am, beginning again.  All is not lost.  I’m starting over slowly.  Little by little.  The prompts for 52 Photos Project (Begin at the beginning) and In The Picture (Shake it out) reminded me to shake off the old and start fresh.  The tiny plants I’m holding in this photo are perfect symbols of new beginnings.  Anthony started them from seed for a new project of ours.  The ones in this peat pot will eventually give us cherry tomatoes, but for now, they’re small and vulnerable.  They need time and tending before growing strong and bearing fruit.  What good reminders they are to take things slowly and take good care.

I intended to get this mosaic made and posted before the first of March, but it just didn’t happen! The last week of February was very busy, and full of some major milestones. One of them was Baby V’s first birthday. I’m absolutely amazed that twelve months have gone by since our little flower was born. In many ways, I feel like I’m still recovering and adjusting.  I’ve been extra emotional lately, knowing that she’ll never be this little again. Actually, I shared some of my feelings about motherhood over at She is Three a few days ago.

The color for February’s monthly mosaic was purple, with the theme of tranquility. I don’t get much tranquility at all with a little one who is teething and learning to walk, but these four photographs depict some serene moments. The photo at the top left is one of my daughter that I took on Sunday, which was her first birthday. She looked so calm at that moment, concentrating on a new puzzle in the soft light. The photo at the top right is the first dress I bought for Baby V when I was pregnant, and it holds such deep sentimental value. (That same dress was an integral part of my February self-portrait at She is Three). At the bottom left is a close up of the dress Baby V wore at her first birthday party. The purple ribbon rosettes just melt my heart. Sometimes I wish she would wear dresses like this forever! The last photo is one of weeds. Yes, weeds. Here in winter, there isn’t anything green or flowering to admire on my walks. Nonetheless, I decided that weeds in winter have a certain charm about them. That being said, I’m still very much looking forward to the arrival of spring! The birds are starting to chirp, and that is a good sign.

In my previous post I wrote about how much I love February, but it has been a tough month nonetheless. Each day I learn something new about being a parent and being a partner. Just when I think things are calming down, everything changes again. Our little girl is growing so fast! I’m still having trouble believing that she is almost one. This time last year I was waddling to doctor’s appointments two and three times a week, swollen beyond recognition. I had developed pre-eclampsia and would eventually have to be induced. Despite the toll it took on me, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. Each morning when either Anthony or I lift Baby V out of her crib, she giggles and squeals, so excited to start a new day. Then we walk over to the window so she can look outside for deer. Sometimes she spots one grazing in the yard and points to it, smiling and muttering excitedly. When I went for a morning walk on Valentine’s Day, I discovered that deer hoof prints look like hearts in the melting snow. Here is closeup of one of them for the 52 Photos Project.
P.S. Be sure to check out the new post today over at She is Three.  In addition to posting our monthly triptych, the three of us will be writing about the heartfelt stories behind our photos. This month, Vivienne will share hers on the 24th, I’ll share mine on the 26th, and Deb will share hers on the 28th!